Is It Normal to Want My Midwife and Doctor to Explain What Happened During the Birth?

Giving birth is a transformative and often intense experience, but not all birth stories are clear or straightforward in the moment. Whether your labour was smooth or challenging, it’s completely normal to want clarity about what happened during the birth process. After all, birth is a significant life event that can leave you with questions—about your health, your baby’s health, and the way things unfolded during delivery. It’s common for many women to feel a range of emotions following birth, from joy and relief to confusion or concern. Some women may find themselves wanting a detailed explanation from their midwife or doctor about what occurred during labour and delivery. But is this feeling of wanting more information normal? The answer is a resounding yes. In this article, we’ll explore why it’s important to ask questions after birth, how to communicate with your care team, and how antenatal care and antenatal appointments play an essential role in preparing you for the journey ahead.

1. Why Do Women Want More Information About What Happened During Their Birth?

a) Understanding Your Birth Experience

Every birth is unique, and sometimes the process doesn’t go as expected. Whether you experienced complications, had a difficult delivery, or simply want to understand the decisions that were made during labour, it’s natural to seek answers. Women often want to know more about why certain interventions were necessary or how their healthcare team responded to unexpected situations. Understanding the details of what happened during the birth process can offer peace of mind and help you process your experience more thoroughly.

b) Emotional Healing After Birth

Childbirth is not just a physical event but an emotional one as well. For some women, reflecting on the birth experience can trigger feelings of vulnerability, confusion, or even trauma. Whether you had an emergency C-section, experienced a long labour, or had interventions like forceps or an episiotomy, it’s not unusual to feel unsettled by parts of the experience that you don’t fully understand. Seeking clarity through discussions with your midwife or doctor can help ease some of this emotional burden, particularly if you are dealing with feelings of disappointment or frustration.

c) Empowering Yourself for Future Births

For women planning to have more children, understanding the details of a previous birth can provide valuable information for future pregnancies. If you felt out of control or uncertain during the birth process, gaining a clearer understanding of the events can help you feel more empowered in the future. Whether it’s requesting a birth plan or simply knowing how to advocate for yourself during antenatal care appointments, understanding what happened can make you feel more in control next time around.

2. How to Communicate with Your Midwife and Doctor After Birth

a) Request a Debrief or Birth Review

Many women find it helpful to schedule a birth debriefing with their midwife or doctor, where they can go over the details of their delivery. Antenatal care doesn’t end after birth; it’s important to continue communicating with your healthcare providers about your birth experience. In these meetings, you can ask questions about specific aspects of the birth, such as why certain decisions were made, what complications arose, and how your baby’s health was monitored throughout the process. This is a space for you to get all the answers you need, whether it’s about pain relief methods, the use of medical interventions, or anything else.

b) Be Open About Your Emotions

While asking for a detailed explanation of your birth is a valid request, it’s important to approach the conversation openly. If you felt confused, anxious, or unsettled during the birth, share your feelings with your midwife or doctor. Healthcare professionals are trained to support new mothers through the emotional challenges of postpartum recovery, and they will often make the effort to explain things in a way that’s both informative and supportive. If you’re struggling emotionally, don’t hesitate to ask for referrals to a therapist or support group specialising in postpartum mental health.

c) Take Notes or Record Your Questions

In the hustle and bustle of the immediate postpartum period, it can be difficult to remember all the details of your birth experience. Consider keeping a journal or a list of questions to ask your antenatal support team when you’re ready. Writing down your thoughts and concerns can ensure you don’t forget to discuss important aspects of the birth. It can also give you a clearer sense of what you need to focus on during your debriefing appointment, helping you feel more prepared for the conversation.

d) Request Your Medical Records

If you want even more detailed information, you can request your medical records from your hospital or birth centre. This might include details about your antenatal scans, the progress of your labour, medications administered, and any procedures that were performed. Having this information on hand can help clarify any uncertainties you have about your birth and provide you with tangible facts to review.

3. The Role of Antenatal Care in Preparing for Birth

a) Setting Expectations for Your Birth

While it’s natural to want clarity on your birth experience, antenatal care can also help prepare you mentally and physically for the challenges of labour and delivery. Regular antenatal appointments provide opportunities for you to discuss potential birth plans, understand possible complications, and learn about different delivery methods. By having a well-established care plan in place with your healthcare team, you may feel more equipped to handle unexpected events during delivery.

b) Preparing for Postpartum Recovery

Another aspect of antenatal care is discussing what to expect after birth. For many women, the postpartum period is a time of physical and emotional adjustment. During antenatal appointments, you should feel comfortable asking about potential challenges you might face in your postpartum recovery, including managing your physical healing, breastfeeding, and emotional health. A solid understanding of what might happen after birth can reduce anxiety and help you make informed decisions for your own well-being and your baby’s health.

c) Choosing the Right Antenatal Classes

One way to feel more prepared for both birth and the postpartum period is by attending antenatal classes. These classes not only teach you about labour, but they can also help you understand the recovery process. Many courses offer specific sessions on postpartum topics like managing physical changes, dealing with sleep deprivation, and mental health after birth. Antenatal education is a great tool for preparing yourself for what’s to come, and it gives you an opportunity to ask questions in a supportive, informative setting.

4. When You Might Need Extra Support

If, after your birth debrief, you find yourself struggling with feelings of confusion, disappointment, or trauma, it might be a sign that you need extra support. Birth experiences don’t always go as planned, and it’s normal to need help processing the emotions surrounding it. Whether it’s talking to a postpartum therapist or attending a support group, you don’t have to navigate the emotions of birth recovery alone. Some signs that you might need additional help include:

• Persistent feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion about your birth experience
• Difficulty bonding with your baby due to unresolved birth trauma
• Anxiety or fear surrounding future births
• Sleep problems or overwhelming physical discomfort that isn’t addressed Don’t hesitate to reach out for help—your emotional well-being matters as much as your physical health in the postpartum recovery period.

5. Conclusion

It is absolutely normal to want to know more about your birth experience. Whether it’s to understand the decisions made during your labour, to process the emotional impact, or to prepare for future pregnancies, asking your midwife or doctor to explain what happened is a crucial part of your postpartum recovery. Clear communication with your care team can provide reassurance and help you make sense of your birth story. Additionally, antenatal care plays an essential role in preparing you for both the birth and recovery process, allowing you to approach each stage with knowledge and confidence. Remember, your experience matters. Asking questions and seeking clarity is a healthy part of the journey, and your healthcare providers are there to support you every step of the way.