Why Does Breastfeeding Make Me Feel So Awful?

Breastfeeding is often portrayed as a beautiful and natural bonding experience between mother and baby, but for many women, it can also be a challenging, overwhelming, and even distressing experience. While there are countless resources that encourage and support breastfeeding, many mothers struggle with physical discomfort, emotional turmoil, and mental exhaustion that can make them question why they feel so awful during this process. In this article, we’ll explore the various reasons why breastfeeding can sometimes make mothers feel emotionally and physically unwell, as well as the steps they can take to ease these feelings. We’ll also discuss how proper antenatal preparation, including antenatal care and education, can play a role in helping new mothers cope with the challenges of breastfeeding.

Physical Discomfort During Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is not always an easy or pain-free experience, especially in the early days and weeks. Many mothers face a range of physical issues that can make breastfeeding painful and stressful.

1. Sore Nipples

One of the most common complaints among breastfeeding mothers is sore or cracked nipples. This discomfort is often due to improper latch, where the baby does not latch onto the breast correctly, causing friction and damage to the sensitive skin of the nipples. Nipple soreness can make breastfeeding extremely painful, leaving mothers feeling anxious and dreading feeding time. Solutions to this issue include:

• Improving the baby’s latch: Working with a lactation consultant can help you identify and correct any problems with the baby’s latch. Many antenatal classes also provide breastfeeding education, helping you prepare for the process before your baby arrives.
• Using nipple creams: Lanolin-based nipple creams can help soothe cracked and sore nipples, providing relief between feeds.
• Air exposure: Allowing nipples to air dry after feeding can help promote healing.

2. Engorgement and Blocked Ducts

Breast engorgement occurs when your breasts become overly full of milk, leading to painful swelling and hardness. This often happens in the early days after your milk comes in, or if you miss a feed. Engorgement can make breastfeeding difficult for both you and your baby, as it may be harder for the baby to latch onto the firm breast. Blocked milk ducts, which occur when milk gets trapped in the ducts, can also cause painful lumps in the breast and increase the risk of mastitis, a painful breast infection. To manage engorgement and blocked ducts:

• Frequent feeding or pumping: Breastfeeding regularly or pumping milk if your baby isn’t feeding frequently enough can help relieve engorgement and prevent blocked ducts.
• Warm compresses and massage: Applying a warm compress to the affected area and gently massaging the breast can help release trapped milk.
• Proper positioning: Experimenting with different breastfeeding positions, such as the side-lying position or the football hold, can reduce pressure on engorged areas and improve milk flow.

3. Mastitis

Mastitis is an inflammation of the breast tissue that can lead to infection. It is often caused by blocked ducts or incomplete emptying of the breast during feeds. Symptoms of mastitis include redness, swelling, pain, and flu-like symptoms such as fever and chills. Mastitis can make breastfeeding feel unbearable, and many mothers report feeling emotionally and physically drained when dealing with this condition. If you suspect mastitis, it’s essential to:

• Continue breastfeeding: Emptying the affected breast is crucial for recovery, so keep breastfeeding or pumping on that side.
• Seek medical attention: Antibiotics are often needed to treat mastitis, so consult your doctor if you develop symptoms.

Emotional and Mental Challenges of Breastfeeding

Aside from the physical discomfort, breastfeeding can also take a toll on a mother’s emotional and mental well-being. Many women experience feelings of guilt, frustration, and sadness when breastfeeding doesn’t go as smoothly as expected.

1. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

Breastfeeding and mental health are closely linked. For some mothers, breastfeeding can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety, especially if they struggle with pain, low milk supply, or societal pressure to breastfeed. Mothers who experience postpartum depression or anxiety may feel a sense of failure if breastfeeding isn’t working out, further intensifying their emotional distress. It’s important to:

• Reach out for help: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, talking to a healthcare professional or therapist can provide support. Attending antenatal appointments that focus on both physical and mental health can also help you prepare for the postpartum period.
• Consider breastfeeding alternatives: If breastfeeding is contributing to your mental health challenges, it’s okay to explore alternatives such as formula feeding. Your well-being is just as important as your baby’s, and a healthy, happy parent is crucial for a happy baby.

2. D-MER (Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex)

Some breastfeeding mothers experience a sudden wave of negative emotions just before or during milk letdown. This condition is known as D-MER, and it is caused by a hormonal imbalance that occurs when milk is released from the breast. Women with D-MER may feel sadness, anger, or anxiety when breastfeeding, and these emotions typically pass once the milk has been let down. While D-MER is not fully understood, some strategies for managing it include:

• Understanding the condition: Knowing that D-MER is a physiological response and not an indicator of your emotional state can help you cope with the negative feelings.
• Relaxation techniques: Practicing deep breathing, meditation, or antenatal yoga during breastfeeding may help calm your mind and reduce the intensity of the negative emotions.

3. The Pressure to Breastfeed

There is often immense pressure placed on new mothers to breastfeed, with many feeling that it is the only acceptable way to feed their baby. This pressure can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy, particularly if a mother is struggling with breastfeeding or chooses not to breastfeed. Many mothers report feeling judged by healthcare professionals, family, or friends if they opt for formula feeding, further exacerbating their negative emotions. To navigate this pressure:

• Focus on your unique journey: Every mother and baby is different, and what works for one family may not work for another. It’s essential to make feeding choices that align with your family’s needs and well-being, whether that involves breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a combination of both.
• Seek antenatal education and support: Attending antenatal classes that provide balanced information about both breastfeeding and formula feeding can help you make informed decisions without feeling pressured.

The Role of Antenatal Care in Breastfeeding Preparation

Many of the challenges associated with breastfeeding can be mitigated by preparing for the experience during pregnancy. Antenatal care plays a significant role in educating expectant mothers about breastfeeding, managing potential difficulties, and building confidence.

1. Antenatal Education on Breastfeeding

Antenatal education provides expectant parents with the knowledge they need to feel confident about breastfeeding. Many antenatal classes cover topics such as breastfeeding techniques, how to achieve a good latch, and what to expect in the early days of feeding. These classes can also provide valuable information on recognising and addressing common breastfeeding challenges, such as sore nipples or low milk supply.

2. Attending Antenatal Appointments

Regular antenatal appointments offer opportunities to discuss your feeding plan with your healthcare provider. These appointments can also help you address any concerns or anxieties you may have about breastfeeding, allowing you to feel more prepared for the journey ahead.

3. Antenatal Support Groups

Antenatal support groups can be a valuable resource for expectant parents. These groups often offer a safe space to discuss concerns about breastfeeding and postpartum life. Connecting with other expectant parents who may be facing similar worries can reduce feelings of isolation and provide emotional support.

Relaxation Techniques and Self-Care During Breastfeeding

Since breastfeeding can take a toll on your emotional and physical well-being, it’s essential to prioritise self-care. Incorporating relaxation techniques and self-care practices into your breastfeeding routine can help alleviate some of the stress and discomfort associated with the process.

1. Antenatal Yoga and Relaxation

Practicing antenatal yoga during pregnancy can prepare your body for breastfeeding by improving posture and reducing tension in your back, neck, and shoulders. The breathing exercises taught in pregnancy yoga classes can also help you stay calm during stressful feeding sessions, and these skills can be carried over into the postpartum period.

2. Antenatal Massage

Antenatal massage is another beneficial practice for expectant mothers that can continue into the postpartum period. These massages help relieve tension in the body, improve circulation, and promote relaxation. Postpartum massage can target the back, neck, and shoulders, which often bear the strain of breastfeeding.

3. Practicing Self-Compassion

Breastfeeding can be a deeply emotional experience, and it’s essential to practice self-compassion during this time. Allow yourself grace if breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned, and remind yourself that your well-being is just as important as your baby’s. If breastfeeding is causing significant distress, consider seeking advice from a healthcare professional or lactation consultant.

Conclusion

Breastfeeding is a deeply personal experience that comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. For many mothers, the physical discomfort, emotional strain, and mental exhaustion can make breastfeeding feel overwhelming and, at times, unbearable. However, understanding the reasons behind these feelings, seeking support, and prioritising self-care can help alleviate some of the difficulties. Antenatal care, preparation, and education play an essential role in helping mothers feel confident and empowered as they begin their breastfeeding journey. Whether through antenatal appointments,breastfeeding education, or relaxation practices like antenatal yoga and massage, expectant mothers can prepare for the emotional and physical demands of breastfeeding and make informed decisions that support their well-being.